Have you ever booked a family or engagement shoot, been super excited for it, picked out the perfect outfit, perfected your hair and makeup, only to be greeted by a silent and slightly grumpy husband or boyfriend? I have! It seems to be one of the biggest and unexpected problems that my couples have. Let me tell you, it doesn’t have to be this way! Your man should feel confident and excited to get in front of the camera with you, and I will tell you how to make that happen. 🙂
What He’s Afraid Of
When you think about it, it’s no surprise that men feel skittish and uncomfortable when the subject of professional pictures come up. They know that it means a lot to their ladies, but feel unprepared and self conscious. They are expecting a lot of, “Okay look natural!”, “No, no, not like that!”, “Don’t give me that fake smile!”
I sincerely hope your photographer has never said these things to you! And be sure to never say them yourself! These kind of phrases just confirm his fears that this whole picture thing isn’t coming naturally to him and he is failing. When it comes to setting couples up for success in photo shoots, it’s all about positive reinforcement and clear instruction. Your photographer has the biggest responsibility to direct in a positive way, but you can make a big difference too! Your man desperately wants to impress you. He wants you to be proud of him and feel like he did a great job. The thing is, he probably won’t feel that way on his own. He needs your support!
What You Can Do About It
Let’s start at the beginning. When you tell him you are wanting to get some nice pictures taken, don’t put too much pressure on him. Focus more on how much fun it will be! Tell him that you love just being with him and would love some nice pictures to document that. Maybe mention at some point how much you love his laugh and you want to be able to document his laugh forever. 😉 The main idea is to complement him on all the things that you hope he will do during the photo shoot. I know my husband, Sam, feels a lot more comfortable when I feel comfortable! So don’t stress about the little things. So during the photo shoot, don’t try to force him to act or look a certain way. Instead, laugh at his jokes, smile and be silly, touch him a lot. Basically act like you’re still in high school and are flirting like crazy! 😉 He will love the attention and really start to enjoy your time together. One of my favorite prompts is to have you each whisper something you love about the other in their ear. Also be ready to kiss a lot and show some serious PDA! 😉
Don’t Sweat the Little Things
Another little tip for you: Consider picking out his outfit! That is one less thing for him to worry about. Just make sure you get his approval. Also remember that although what you wear to your shoot is important, it’s not as important as having authentic joy and being relaxed. If he is on board with wearing the dress shoes and blazer, awesome! He will probably be impressed with how good he looks in the pictures! But if he completely hates the idea it becomes a point of contention, drop it. It’s just not worth it. 😉
Okay ladies, here is a big one: When you see him all ready for your photo shoot, be sure to ooo and ahhh over him. Tell him he is hot, attractive, sexy, handsome etc. Tell him you are so proud to be seen with him. You are probably thinking those things anyway, but it’s important to let him know!
Why not make the whole experience more enjoyable by planning a nice date together afterwards? After all, you will already be dressed up! Get out just the two of you if you can. If you were having a family shoot and you can’t get a babysitter, still try and go out some place that is family friendly and enjoy the time together. This will just add a nice afterthought to the memory of photo shoots with you and make him more excited to plan the next one! Another idea that I love is to print off a few wallet size prints of you favorite images with him in them and write a sweet note to him on the back. Stick it in his lunch or his wallet. It’s the little things that show your love and support and mean the world to him!
I can’t wait to hear how this worked for you! Leave a note in the comments if you found this helpful. 🙂